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Why Nigerian men need help!!!

Author: Jenny Chisom Opara Published on: 23/09/2016

Chisom is an Entrepreneur-Editor, Blogger, Online community organiser, Coach,  Self styled Men Empowerment & Gender   harmony Advocate and that super Introvert that breaks her records daily. She loves outdoors, travel and learning. Follow her on Facebook Twitter  and Instagran

Sourced from: news-flash
Copyright: New Flash Nigeria 2016. Reprinted with permission.

Why Nigeria men need help

Like an unemployed experiential researcher, I have been studying the development landscape and the spates of violence against women, Violence against men with all sorts of vices and would love to address some issues relating to Nigerian men.

There seems to be a revolution of empowering the girl child and giving women capacity all across the globe, being that in most parts women have been perceived as the less gender and have over the years not been fully maximised for Society’s good.

But women have always been the powerful gender from the ages, taking care of the home front, carrying family responsibilities but have also shown their edge in management and leadership. Women who understand their powers have also aspired higher than just leading the home front and have become Presidents of nations like in Liberia and a few other countries with America having a woman contesting for the coveted commander-in-chief seat too.

ALSO READ: The ageing and urbanisation of Nigeria

It truly keeps getting better and they would no longer be a ‘lid’ on women in a few years because we all need each other to make society a better place to live.

My point is that women are realising that they are powerful and can get any nod they want if they make up their minds too despites the stereotypes.

However, there seem to be a decline in male activities, in fact I read just yesterday informally that an average man begins to be non-productive after age 45. If it’s in Nigeria, they come down with diseases and lifestyle challenges commonly acknowledged as endemic for men of their age.

My fear for men is that they have not been given a fair chance at holistic human development and they easily manifest that in life. Unlike an average girl who is groomed for running a home and prepared to marry, an average Nigerian male grows up without a sense of responsibility.

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In a workshop organised by Voices for Change in Abuja in 2015, a school boy was asked how it feels like growing up as a boy in Nigeria. He answered that “Well, it’s okay, really good, and really easy; it’s my sisters that usually get difficult tasks and homes chores to do” (paraphrase) and was I shocked? No. Because he said the truth and the fact, whichever is appropriate at this point.

Usually, we have Women associations, women health considerations (justifiably so), Girl clubs, Girl empowerment workshops et al, and I ask, “why don’t we empower men” since after all is said and done, a girl is supposed to ‘submit’ all her awesomeness, education, skills-set to a man in marriage?.

We raise Princesses without considering who is grooming or groomed the Prince, she is hoping to get married to.

Wonder why, this may not yet make sense but points to  why more  successful women may not be able to marry in few years from today because it will increasingly be hard to have men with the confidence and security to broach the topic of marriage and the women themselves will see no reason to ‘submit’ to  men who may not be able to love them (because of seeing them as competition) but will at best be comfortable with being around them and possibly running errands?

This may be quite laughable but permit me, let us continue this conversation next time. I can’t wait to hear your feedback on this.

This is my first time here, so I’m sure you’d support your girl. *Winks.

One comment on “Why Nigerian men need help!!!

  1. Dominick says:

    Interesting commentary, for sure. I clung to this statement, “an average Nigerian male grows up without a sense of responsibility.” What are we really, if we don’t have responsibilities and meet them with our whole self?

    I agree, that today’s men, whether in Abuja, Addis Ababa, or Atlanta struggle to identify and meet their responsibilities. I think one question we have to ask is whether they are equipped with the appropriate tools, mentors, and experiences to be successful in today’s world? Their toolbox was handed down by a father (or father figure) that fixed Fords and toasters, not Teslas and iPhones.

    More advanced relationships require more sophisticated and abundant tools. Expectations have changed through programs like those mentioned above, and changed for the better. Unfortunately, as all that good was happening, it didn’t always prepare men for what was the inevitable and now many men (not all) are playing catch up.

    Having designed male involvement projects in several countries, I have noticed that men do lose their sense of responsibility, especially if they aren’t earning money. They approach this gap with their antiquated tools with limited success. A success that is often tied to their partner’s patience and love. This doesn’t have to be the way.

    Reshaping masculinity, fatherhood, and being a husband is something that can be learned through mentorship and education. It can be actualized through a little peer pressure, the ratification of appropriate laws and their enforcement can violence or ensure that an absent father provides financially for his ex-wife and children. Social contract between groups of men and women and families can also shape expectations and levels of acceptability for harmful behaviors.

    Thanks for the article.

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