Like an unemployed experiential researcher, I have been studying the development landscape and the spates of violence against women, Violence against men with all sorts of vices and would love to address some issues relating to Nigerian men.
There seems to be a revolution of empowering the girl child and giving women capacity all across the globe, being that in most parts women have been perceived as the less gender and have over the years not been fully maximised for Society’s good.
But women have always been the powerful gender from the ages, taking care of the home front, carrying family responsibilities but have also shown their edge in management and leadership. Women who understand their powers have also aspired higher than just leading the home front and have become Presidents of nations like in Liberia and a few other countries with America having a woman contesting for the coveted commander-in-chief seat too.
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It truly keeps getting better and they would no longer be a ‘lid’ on women in a few years because we all need each other to make society a better place to live.
My point is that women are realising that they are powerful and can get any nod they want if they make up their minds too despites the stereotypes.
However, there seem to be a decline in male activities, in fact I read just yesterday informally that an average man begins to be non-productive after age 45. If it’s in Nigeria, they come down with diseases and lifestyle challenges commonly acknowledged as endemic for men of their age.
My fear for men is that they have not been given a fair chance at holistic human development and they easily manifest that in life. Unlike an average girl who is groomed for running a home and prepared to marry, an average Nigerian male grows up without a sense of responsibility.
In a workshop organised by Voices for Change in Abuja in 2015, a school boy was asked how it feels like growing up as a boy in Nigeria. He answered that “Well, it’s okay, really good, and really easy; it’s my sisters that usually get difficult tasks and homes chores to do” (paraphrase) and was I shocked? No. Because he said the truth and the fact, whichever is appropriate at this point.
Usually, we have Women associations, women health considerations (justifiably so), Girl clubs, Girl empowerment workshops et al, and I ask, “why don’t we empower men” since after all is said and done, a girl is supposed to ‘submit’ all her awesomeness, education, skills-set to a man in marriage?.
We raise Princesses without considering who is grooming or groomed the Prince, she is hoping to get married to.
Wonder why, this may not yet make sense but points to why more successful women may not be able to marry in few years from today because it will increasingly be hard to have men with the confidence and security to broach the topic of marriage and the women themselves will see no reason to ‘submit’ to men who may not be able to love them (because of seeing them as competition) but will at best be comfortable with being around them and possibly running errands?
This may be quite laughable but permit me, let us continue this conversation next time. I can’t wait to hear your feedback on this.
This is my first time here, so I’m sure you’d support your girl. *Winks.